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September 15, 2016

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I achieved my dreams at an early age... I signed my contract at 17 but had to wait 2 months to be shipped to Ft Benning GA to become an infantryman. My military career was my passion, my life, everything I ever wanted.

After basic and AIT I attended Airborne school and Ranger Indoctrination Program than just as an E-2 I was selected by one of my instructors to transfer to his unit, C co 1/18th Infantry to be part of a small sniper unit serving the first infantry division. everything was going according to my plans.

I deployed with the 1st infantry division during the Yugoslav Wars in the late 90s and with the united Nations to patrol their newly established borders.
My life was good, I continued my training to reach my goals. I attended Belgium Commando School and I was finally an E-4...time for my next step!
SFAS, Special Forces Assessment and selection, I made it!!! this is where I wanted to be. upon returning to my unit in Germany the winter was finally over so it was time to take out my motorcycle and go out for a ride.

I remember a helicopter, I remember bright lights and people wearing masks over their face then I remember a soldier telling me that I was going to be ok, that I was going home.
I regained consciousness in Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Washington DC but, this wasn't home! Home was with my brothers. I was told that I had been involved in a terrible accident. I was hit by a drunk driver and they had to amputate my left arm, quickly I moved my fingers, they were all there, maybe they got the wrong guy??? but then they removed the sheets that were covering me and i realized they were right,I was too high on morphine to understand.
my arm was gone but i had bigger problems, my left leg was so damaged that they even talked to me about amputating because i was never going to be able to put any weight on it... i refused that offer... many surgeries later and after inserting titanium rods from hip to ankle they also needed to do a bone graft to fill the empty spaces... whatever!

it was time for rehab, i started to walk again but i didn't know where i was walking to. The medical evaluation board had my papers, they said i could finish rehab at home but as I said before, my home was with my brothers and I couldn't go back. As much as I argued and try to stay I couldn't... i had to retire.

I left to NY, it was a new city for me to start a new life. Enrolled in college and started a life i never wanted. Im trying to live everything I loved behind... Oxycontin and anti depressants were great help!

I tried to continue my life, pain got worse, prescriptions got stronger...
This was my story for many years things kept getting worse until one day i decided that was it... I was convinced things would never get better... it was only logical to ended there. Why continue living in pain, what good was I for others? I wasn't going to be able to care for my kids, I needed 80 mg of Oxycontin just to get out of bed.

Once again I woke up in a hospital... as i pulled a tube out of my mouth I couldn't believe I had failed at this, suicide is supposed to be easy! now things were much worse. I was forced into a psych unit for a few weeks and then I was told that they wanted me to complete a 3-month residential program on the 5th floor in the VA Hospital... fuck it, i had nowhere else to be. at least i had a bed and 3 meals.

I used to look down at people like this but being there made me realized what the problem was. I couldn't hide behind meds anymore. As miserable as I was there I felt like I was home again, i was with my people.

We all struggled with different demons but we understood each other.
that was the beginning of a new life for me, i knew what i needed to do. Today,i fight side by side with my brothers and sisters that are going through something similar because I know how it feels to be there. I'm constantly reaching out and trying to help. I am a strong advocate for depression, PTSD and i try to motivate others to continue the fight.

this is not a fairy tail, it's a constant battle but if I want a happy ending i now know that giving up is not a fucking option!

Jonathan Lopez


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Sizing Information

Men's T-Shirt

XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL
Chest (inches) 30-32 34-36  38-40 42-44 46-48 48-50 50-52 52-54
Waist (inches) 28-30 30-32  32-33 33-34 36-38 40-42 44-48 50-54

 

Ladies' Triblend Racerback Tank

XS S M L XL
Length (inches) 26 7/8 27 1/2 28 1/8 28 3/4 29 3/8
Width (inches) 15 16 17 18 19 1/2

 

Men's Fleece Shorts

S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL
Waist (inches) 27-30 30-33 33-36 38-40 41-43 44-47

48-50

*These are not preshrunk.


Elbow Sleeve Size Chart:

We advise you to measure your arm when in a locked out with your muscles relaxed. Select the size below that best fits both measurements.

Size 2" below (in) 2" above (in)
XS 8.20 - 10.20 9.40 - 11.80
S 9.40 - 10.40 10.60 - 13.20
M 10.60 - 12.60 11.80 - 14.60
L 11.80 - 13.80 13.00 - 15.90
XL 13.0 - 15.0 14.20 - 17.30
2XL 14.20 - 16.10 15.30 - 18.70
3XL 15.20 - 17.10 16.30 - 19.70
4XL 16.20 - 18.10 17.30 - 20

For specific sizing please refer to the product page size chart.

KNEE SIZE CHARTS:

TUFF 7mm X-Training Knee Sleeves

How to Size: Measure circumference of the knee (mid-patella) in a locked position (muscles must be relaxed). Unisex sizes.

S 11.8 in. - 13.0 in.
M 13.0 in. - 14.2 in.
L 14.2 in. - 15.7 in.
XL 15.7 in. - 17.0 in.
XXL 17.0 in. - 18.3 in.

*If you prefer a tighter fit please order one size smaller than your measurement.

TUFF 7mm Power Series Knee Sleeves

How to Size: Measure circumference of the knee (mid-patella) in a locked position (muscles must be relaxed).  If your calves are bigger than your knee measurement, we recommend using the circumference of your calf

Sizes Measured in inches
XS 12" - 13.3"
S 13.3" - 14.5"
M 14.5" - 15.7"
L 15.7" - 17"
XL 17" - 17.7"
XXL 17.7" - 18.5"
3XL 18.5" - 19.3"
4XL 19.3" - 20"